In the last seven and a half years I’ve had the honor and the undeserving privilege to be a father. Hearing those four little voices in our house say “Daddy”, is the most rewarding feeling any man could ever hope for. It’s a name I take seriously, a name I prayed for, and a name that comes with great responsibility.

Now, I will be the first to tell you, I will never have a seat at the Father of the Year Awards. Ever. I’m a regular everyday Dad with regular everyday problems wading through the struggles of patience, tolerance, and poop. But I do feel that there is a daddy deficit in the world lately. Meaning, there’s Dads out there that just don’t try, or never really did. There’s Dad’s that have the time to invest with their children and choose not to. There’s even Dad’s that deny their own children for whatever reason. It’s time to man up, guys. Past time.

It’s time to read that bedtime story for the 47^th time. (Trying not to let them see you skip any pages…ahem)

It’s time to build those forts on Saturday mornings with their little sheets that were probably peed on the night before.

It’s time to get in the floor, roll around, and blow raspberries on their tummies. The hysterical giggles that overflow from them are pure gold.

It’s time to take more pictures with them, and let them take pictures of you.

It’s time to paint your daughter’s nails, and yes, she will be painting yours. So pick a pretty color that matches your work pants.

It’s time for tea parties and drinking invisible tea while you, Dad, wear your custom made princess dress fashioned from blankets, plastic jewelry, and drooled on pillow cases.

It’s time for changing diapers. You helped make the child. You will help clean the child, too. You can roll your eyes when your wife’s not looking.

It’s time for Saturday night slumber parties in the living room watching the movie of their choice. Even if they fall asleep 19 minutes after their “favorite movie ever” starts.

It’s time to watch them sleep, listen to them breath, and marvel at their little eyes rolling around under heavy eyelids as they descend into dreaming.

It’s time for Saturday morning cartoons. Yes, all morning, and who are you kidding, they’ll be on all day.

It’s time for taking Mommy breakfast in bed. It’s a fact the kitchen will be an absolute disaster and the food will be appalling. But the sunshine on their faces when they deliver that caving Dixie plate to Mommy makes up for the taste of bacon dipped in fruity pebbles with a side of rice and plum baby food.

It’s time for demonstration and example. Explaining to them the value of a dollar, the consequences of their actions- good or bad, and the importance of telling the truth.

It’s time for camp fires and s’mores. Bending that coat hanger into the shape of a unicorn or Dora the Explorer makes the marshmallow taste better, Dad. Sure it does. Even, though we all know the kids are only in it for the Hershey bars while you and Mommy are left with graham crackers and Dora roasted marshmallows.

It’s time for counting stars with them. Watching their little faces come alive when they see the little dipper, is nothing short of remarkable.

It’s time for finger painting and water colors. Splashing water and flicking paint brushes on each other is really all they’ll do, but the precious artwork you’re left with after the paint war will be proudly displayed under a heart shaped magnet on your fridge.

It’s time for manners. Yes Sir, Yes Ma’am, Thank You, and Please are the foundation of respect. It’s our job to instill this in them. Yes, this does come with constant reminders, but keep it up, one day it’ll stick and they’ll teach your grandbabies to do the same. Yes Sir they will.

It’s time for supper. You know, that crazy act of everyone getting their plate and sitting around the table… together (yes, the highchair is welcome, too) Take it from me… the funniest, longest, hardest, most uncomfortable conversations will take place at the tabletop.

Its’ time for discipline. The rod of discipline is used by the parents who love their children. Do it diligently. Start early and be consistent.

It’s time for bible stories. Noah’s Ark, David and Goliath, and the power of faith in a lion’s den.

It’s time for prayer. Now it doesn’t have to be a novel of requests, but let’s encourage them to ask the Lord for help when they need it, support when their unstable, and comfort when their spirits are suffering. Most importantly, let’s remind them to be thankful when a prayer is answered and to be grateful when a request is granted. Our children need to know God’s in their corner, and it’s our job to expose them to His blessings before the devil exposes them to his miseries.

It’s time for church. In today’s world, it’s Mommy who gets the kids up, fed, teeth brushed, dressed and out the door for church, while Dad just stays at home. Come on Dads… this is where we really need to step up our game, take initiative, and be the head of house. You’d never know it, but our wives and children are thirsting for us to man up and protect the spiritual soundness that church provides. The health of a marriage requires it, and the durability of parenthood demands it.

Dads, please hear me out. The pressures of everyday life and trying to find the balance of it all, is nothing short of overwhelming and exhausting. Being a Dad comes with great pressures and stresses. I totally get it. But we are Dads. The founders of our families. The people who chase monsters from under the bed and get manicures from 4 year old girls. We’re strong, yes. But we owe it to Mommy and the kids to be spiritually strong. May we lead with confidence. May we persevere with assurance. Let us be the Daddy’s our kids think we are.

All eyes are on us, but their little eyes are on you.

As some of you may know this week marks mine and my Erica’s 10 year wedding anniversary. Tenth! Have. Mercy.

As we celebrate this week I cant help but get into my time travel machine (which has been getting a lot of miles here lately) and go back to the summer of 2004. Good God what a year! ** okay so we need some appropriate 2004 music to take this trip…  so lets turn up some Alicia Keys, Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, and maybe some Keith Urban. And please be sure to put on your New Balance, boot cut jeans… and whatever you do, please don’t forget  to straighten your hair with that flat iron.

Sorry Erica, Backstreet Boys didn’t really have any chart toppers this year…

Alright lets go…

Erica and I got engaged our Senior year in High School at Hooper. It was October 17th 2003. Earlier that week I went and talked to her Daddy, Darrell, to ask for his blessing to marry Erica. After talking with him, I immediately called Erica with the great news, though she had no idea when I would pop the question. (and yes I did get his blessing) This was Wednesday.

On Friday Erica and I decided to go out to eat. At the time O Charley’s on East Blvd. was our favorite restaurant.

This was it. I was going to propose to her tonight and I was ready. Now… being 17 with a part time job after school, while driving a sporty, yet classy 1995 Chevy Cavalier, in 2004, I wasn’t necessarily raking in the the monies. So I used my entire 2 weeks paycheck and stopped at my local Winn Dixie and purchased a dozen red roses for my “proposing plan.”

When I got back to my car I opened my trunk and carefully placed all 12 roses in a pile surrounding a note that said:

“Erica Lee- you complete me- will you marry me?”

and right in front of the note, was the the ring. The ring my momma gave me shortly after Erica and I met. It was my grandmothers engagement ring from 1953. Momma told me a few months after Erica and I started dating that she had saved it for me, and there was no need for her to hold on to it any longer because she knew that Erica was going to be my wife, and the mother of my children.

Alright, so driving ever so slow, I finally make it to her house. She comes out looking like a jewel. my jewel. She gets in and we head to O Charley’s. (slowly, of course. I cant afford ANYTHING falling over or getting out of place in my trunk.) Now why would I put the roses in my trunk you ask?  Earlier that week, I had a horrible in grown toe nail issue and I would keep some flip flops in my trunk just in case I needed to change from my New Balance. (not being seen in those in 2004 was social suicide.)

So we get there, like an hour later, and my plan was to ask Erica once we parked to get my flip flops from the trunk because my toe was hurting, and then see all the roses and the ring and stuff! We drive around the parking lot like 5 times trying to find a place to park. All the while I’m thinking dear Lord, I just know all those roses look like potpourri now with all this turning and speed bumps. Anyway, we never find a parking place and have to park in the Winn Dixie parking lot behind the restaurant. So I park, and ask Erica to please get my flip flops from the trunk. She gets out, and so do I, to be there when she see’s what I’m praying- is still 1 dozen roses (not potpourri), a ring (that has not slipped down into the hole where my spare tire is “supposed” to be) and a note ( that hasn’t combusted into flames from all the gas fumes that car made)

With my heart  pounding, and eyes filling up, she opens the trunk, smiles, and says:

“Thank you”

It was priceless, and of course she said yes! We hugged and kissed for what seemed like five minutes. Right then and there it was like we were unstoppable, we were ready, and had no doubts about anything. A passion for each other that still exists to this day.

Months passed, and we enjoyed every single second of our senior year. Graduation came, our momma’s cried, and we turned our tassels. We both had no job, no money, and probably no gas in our cars to get us home from graduation. But the one true thing we did have was faith, hope and love. I know it sounds cliche, but its true. With these three things we were the richest two people on the planet, and needed nothing man-made to enrich what God had already given us. What he had entrusted us with. It was sacred.

After graduation was the senior cruise (which was a blast). It was when we returned, that the reality set in, that I needed to man up and take hold of the responsibility I had promised Erica, my future father in law, and the Lord.

I eventually found work at a local shipping company, and Erica got a job at a legal copy shop in downtown.  After finding jobs, next was finding a place to live. The place we found to reside in was a 1970 14X80 trailer in Panola, Alabama. To us, it was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen. Because it was ours and that’s all we wanted. It didn’t matter the only air conditioning was a window unit in the kitchen that would completely freeze up in 30 minutes and leak all over the floor when it thawed. It didn’t matter the yard was going to take me 4 hours to push mow. It didn’t matter it was located 10 feet from a cemetery. It didn’t matter how scared we were about the $350 for rent each month. And it didn’t matter that it was going to take each of us an hour to get to work everyday. All that mattered is that it was ours. All ours.

“Wedding plans continued, the date was set, and hurricane Ivan was on his way.”

We had some amazing friends that allowed us to use their home to have an outdoor wedding and reception. As September 18th quickly approached, so did hurricane Ivan. I remember being at work on Wednesday the 15th, and having to shut down our department because of the weather. Hurricane Ivan made landfall on the 16th with 130 MPH winds. We hunkered down, we prayed, and the Lord spared us.

The day after Ivan hit, Erica and her parents came to my parents house so we could ride out to our wedding venue and survey the damage. It was like God had placed his mighty and merciful hands over the entire place. It looked like nothing had happened. While thousands of families were devastated across several states, we were ok. We were grateful. We were alive. Power outages were in the thousands across the state. The night before our wedding my parents stayed at the Pine Lake Motel on Troy Hwy,  Erica and her Mom at the Days Inn In Prattville, and me and Darrell at mine and Erica’s trailer in Panola. (which somehow still had power) I remember going to see Erica at the hotel in Prattville that night so we could finish our CD’s that we wanted played at the reception. I also remember leaving just before midnight so we didn’t “see” each other before our wedding. Call us conventional, but that kind of stuff was important to us… and still is.

As  the sun breaks through the blinds the next morning, I wake up and realize that the sun is actually shining and I am overjoyed! I jump up, shower, grab my tux, and Darrell and I drive to the wedding site. We get there and everyone is in full force decorating, hanging lights, baking, and setting up the white chairs where our friends and family are going to sit and watch Erica and I promise the rest of our lives to each other.

With pictures starting for  Erica and her bridesmaids at 2pm, I eventually leave and get dressed.

While pictures were in full force with Erica and the “maids”, my Mom and Dad had of course already arrived.  Then my Dad asked me to come with him for a walk… Not really knowing what to expect or what he was going to say, I eagerly followed. We walked over to the side of the house… just talking about the day and all the excitement. Then he stopped me, grabbed my shoulders, and turned me towards him and said…

“Son, there’s gonna be 2 things that will happen in your life you’ll NEVER forget. The first one is going to happen in about an hour, when your bride walks down that aisle with her eyes, her heart, and her soul completely fixed on you. Nothing’s gonna stop her and nothing’s gonna stop you.

The second thing is… that day you both see and hold your first born against your chest.

My eyes immediately filled with tears and such gratitude for a man that loved me, and had clearly experienced those two things first hand in his life. I am still humbled to this day to call him Daddy.

The chaos continued as 4pm closed in. Women running everywhere, bridesmaids curling, dabbing, and blotting everything. While the groomsmen were as cool as a cucumber…(probably waiting on cake)

I’ll never forget as we were lining up to start the ceremony, I had this total rush of emotions flood my entire body when my sweet Momma came up to me and asked “what’s wrong, baby?” I remember telling her “I’m just so damn happy.”

And as all great weddings go… A beautiful bride walked down the aisle, the groom escorted his Momma, the bride’s Momma cried, and the father of the bride held on tight… It was a seamlessly perfect day. Even with no power, no air conditioning, and no breeze, it was everything we wanted.

“After all, we wanted it all, and that’s exactly what we got.”