It’s been 3,288 days.

Feels like 3,288 years and also like a quick 3,288 seconds.

On June 17th this year, you sweet lady, were in my dream. I’ve had four with you in them during these past nine years. Your entrance is usually quick and distanced and I can never seem to get near you in them, as if I were watching a memory of you.

But this one was substantially different. Normally you find your way to me, but in this one I was desperately searching for you.

This one was tangible, audible, and real.

I found myself, Erica, Anna Lynn, and one of our best friends Phil, at a super busy intersection. Instead of cars in the road, there were people, tons of people. As if cars didn’t exist. Just people. Every single person was in panic mode. Like an eagerly excited and desperate panic mode. Within each person’s hands was a piece of paper. I had no idea what the papers read until I noticed I had one of my own.

657. This was the number in my hands.

Having no clue what this number meant we all started following the signs for how to get to it, like room numbers in a hotel hallway or searching for mailboxes.

Everyone’s outside. It’s chilly. We can see our breath.

We see my Aunt Tammy at one of the intersections and she tells us she’s so happy were here, and that we’ll love it. We still don’t know what “it” is.

The more we run… and search… and try to understand what’s going on, the more your presence becomes unnervingly overwhelming to me.

It’s in that moment… I know this search is for you.

We continue the search. There’s lots of pine straw. My emotions start getting the best of me and I’m short of breath. Tons of laughter dances in the air and I become jealous of not having my own. I’m almost angry.

I’m terrified I won’t find you.

We walk what seems like miles of sidewalk and eventually get to a sign with numbers in the 600 family.

We finally find room 657.

The beating of my heart is audible and I feel the heat of my skin dampen the sheets I’m dreaming in.

There’s a little sidewalk that leads up to the door. I know without a shadow of a doubt, you’re in there. The whole room is windows draped by long blinds that are closed.

I open the door and Erica and I walk in. It’s dark. Anna Lynn and Phil wait outside. The hesitation I have to turn the light on is indescribable. I guess the fear of what would be on the other side of the light, maybe.

I know you’re in this room.

I flip the switch… and there you are… your hair is freshly cut and bright.

There’s two open Sprite cans on your nightstand, and your room has green tones.

You’re in your bed… and immediately jump up and scream and cry with elation shouting “my baby”.

You run towards me with a heavenly vigor and throw your arms around my neck. I scream into your neck and fall to my knees. I can smell you. I can hear your voice and feel your breath. You show us around your room.

We all collapse onto the bed and you say “So… tell me all about it”

That’s it.

I wake up in an ocean of sweat and palpitations. I slide out of bed and rest my head on soaked sheets thanking God for another encounter with you. You were really there… It was a Hail Mary.

Momma… your memory is inertia.

Never changing. Never moving. Just constant. Resting in room 657.

I guess that’s why this time, I found you.